Praise be to You, our Lord and Master, who has risen from death in the grave into everlasting dominion over all that is good. Be with us in this time with You, giving us comfort, wisdom, faith, hope, and love, but most importantly Your ever-present guidance and direction to do all that we are meant to do. Through Him who reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
As I walked up to him in the Ready Room outside the Sanctuary that would experience the burial of his only daughter, he reached out to embrace me and said simply, "There are no words. There are no words." His strength was overwhelming and yet his vulnerability evident. It seemed not the put-on face of a father who feels he must show strength for his family and to the outside world that suddenly appeared translucent, but rather the peace that comes only from God's hands, not from afar, but in the ever-present, here-and-now, physical placement of His hands upon the shoulders of His flock when only His strength can sustain. His pain and his grieving where there all right, but some other-worldly strength and peace overshadowed it.
Later, m y seating in the sanctuary allowed me to view him from the side as he sat in the end of the first pew with his loving wife and other children. No words can paint the image of that place. The grief weighted the place down like a fog. Yet, his strength remained like the brightness of the sun throughout all the ceremony, all the testimonials from those who loved her as they spoke one after another from the podium, throughout the homilies of the priests, and the Communion.
After the dedication of the body, Father David retrieved her ashes from the alter and faced the hundreds of us who had gathered there. The family rose in unison to face him. As the family moved into the aisle, the priest handed the box containing Kelly's ashes to Ron. I could not help but wonder how he could possibly hold these ashes without faltering. They must have weighed more than the Universe itself. Atlas would have buckled under the strain. And yet Ron stood there, bearing up as if God Himself supported that small box. Time ceased; only stillness remained. It occurred to me at that moment that this event represented not just the ashes of Kelly, but the pain of the whole world. The moment was overwhelming, truly overwhelming. This father's strength was not just there for his daughter's ashes, but for all of us, for all our pain, for all our tribulations, for all that crushed us under the strain.
An ancient story is recounted in which Peter Abelard, the 12th century French theologian, and his protégé, while walking through a forest, came upon a dying rabbit suffering mortal wounds inflicted after being caught in a trapper's snare. The rabbit, cradled in Abelard's hands as it looked upon his kind face, appeared to experience some form of hope during those final moments of its life. As the protégé looked down upon the suffering rabbit, he metaphored to Abelard, "You mean all this? You mean all this?" He was questioning his mentor if Christ's passion on the Cross took on, not only the sin and pain of the world at that moment in time, but beyond "then", to "now", and for each moment in the future, "always and everywhere". For all of time, from the "Big Bang" to the coming "Big Collapse". It is Christ, who is "risen for us", who provides everything we have needed for sustenance in the past, everything we need in this moment, and everything we will need for all moments in the future.
Ron, with the support of Christ, carried us all down the aisle in his hands that day, step by heavy step, pew by pew, face by face, heart by heavy heart, tear by tear.
So, what does one do when
faced with overwhelming grief, overwhelming uncertainty, overwhelming pain?
How can we bear up under it all?
"Who touched me?" Jesus asked. "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me." Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at His feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched Him and how she had been instantly healed. Then He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." [Lk 8:45-48]
God is our hope and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be moved, and though the hills be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof rage and swell, and though the mountains shake at the tempest of the same. There is a river, the streams whereof make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most Highest. God is in the midst of her, therefore shall she not be removed; God shall help her, and that right early. Be still then, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, and I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. [Psalm 64]
(Jesus said) "So I say to you: 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?' " [Lk 11:9-13]
"Have faith in God,"
Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain,
'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes
that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you,
whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will
be yours." [Mk 11: 22-24]
To begin this meditation, find a comfortable spot where you will be uninterrupted for several minutes. Seat yourself comfortably. Breathe deeply and slowly for two to three minutes. Visualize all the things that trouble you evaporate from your body like steam from the street after a summer storm, leaving your body restful and content.
Visualize yourself walking along the shoreline of the Sea of Galilee with Jesus with just a few believers just as the sun is rising. Smell the saltiness in the air. Smell the life of the sea that is always present in the early morning surf. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face, on your arms, and on your feet as you walk along the shoreline. Visualize yourself walking along in quietness with the others during this early morning time. Shortly, you notice that Jesus has turned to you and says, "You seem to be a little troubled this morning. And you appeared distant last night. Can you tell me what is troubling you?"
As you consider the weight of His question upon your heart, hear yourself empty your concerns, your pains, your uncertainties and fears to Jesus. Continue conveying your troubles to Jesus for some time.
After you have expressed all that is troubling you to Him, you notice that His face suggests that He knows exactly how the weight of your heart is burdening you and immobilizing you. After a few moments, you hear Jesus begin to speak. Listen carefully, not interrupting or commenting, but intently to every word from the mouth of God. Feel the eternal power of God wash over you. For several minutes, allow the Holy Spirit, directly from God, of God, and of Christ, to stir your thoughts and your feelings. Continue in this state for as long as self requires.
As you feel your meditation come softly to an end, feel the refreshing sensation Jesus has placed upon you and know that this sensation will stay with you all day long.
As the days pass, observe
the changes Jesus is making in your life from this reflection. Record any special
coincidences or revelations in your Reflections Journal, calendar, and/or on
anything handy and refer back to them in two weeks.
If you are so called, turn to Reflections Journal and, using the guidelines provided, share your mediation with us. Regardless of how insignificant you feel your meditation might have been, your small candle may become a floodlight for others. So, with all humility, prayerfully consider sharing Christ’s revelations in your life with us so that we might share them with others.
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